We were working the beach & grill watch in the Exuma District, on Stalking Island, when we got the call, a significant backup was developing at the Chat and Chill. Dispatch said the caller didn’t leave a name. We boarded Aine and weighted anchor and motored to Stalking Island on the other side of Elizabeth Harbour. We anchored Aine just off the beach and dinghied in. We arrived at Chat and Chill, where the chat is free but the chill costs money (that’s what the sign said), it was a hectic scene, I introduced myself to one of the bartenders behind the counter, I’m Sargant Micky Spot [MS], this is officer Tarah [T], we got a call about a backup building. The bartender said yes, it is, but that is usual this time of day, I asked Tarah what the time was, [T] its 11:45 am, [MS] speaking to the bartender again, you say this is usual, how so? [Bartender] well, we open around 9:00 am and we get people coming to order mostly drinks that they take with them to the beach, and me and my fellow bartender are able to handle the number of people coming in. [MS] you can handle the people you say. [Bartender] yep. [MS] when do things start to get out of hand? [Bartender] well right around 11:30 am people also start ordering food with their drinks, that’s when it starts. [MS] Ah huh. [Bartender] from that point on, until around 1:30 pm more and more people keep coming in, we just can’t handle the rush. [MS] have you tried to get an additional bartender? [Bartender] Not enough room behind the bar. [MS] Ah huh. [Bartender] we tried that once and we just kept running into each other. [MS] Hummmm, have you tried turning people away? [Bartender] Boss won’t let us. [MS] Looking around it was clear that there were too many people wanting more drinks and food all at the same time. But they didn’t seem to mind, in fact they were talking to each other. I’m not sure this is a crime or in need of a solution.
Just then I spotted something else going on, Tarah, look over there, [T] at what, [MS] the girl, [T] half the people in here are girls, [MS] the girl with the coverup on her waist, [T] ya, what of it, [MS] it’s see-through, [T] a common coverup at the beach sarg, [MS] Ya, but I don’t get it, [T] don’t get what sarg, [MS] the girl is waring a butt floss bikini under the coverup, and stop calling me sarg, [T] so, what don’t you get? [MS] well she knew both of her butt cheeks were going to stick out when she put the butt floss bikini on, right? [T] right, [MS] and it’s obvious she is ok with people looking at both of them, the cheeks I mean. [T] ya, so, [MS] well, she’s ok with people looking at both cheeks, but she covers them up when she goes to Chat and Chill, [T] ok, maybe she doesn’t want people to see them where food is being served, [MS] sure I get that, but she covers them up with a see-through coverup. I don’t get it! [T] you never will sarg,
[MS] Tarah, [T] ya, [MS] look over there another one, [T] another what, sarg, [MS] another see-through coverup, except it’s a full body coverup, just how can that fabric stretch that far in the southern hemisphere? [T] No idea, [MS] you would think that everything south of the border would be squeezed north… oh, wait that might have already happened, [T] looks like a possibility, sarg, [MS] well the same butt cheek exposure down south, but look in the norther hemisphere, are those Band-Aids? [T] not sure, [MS] they are covering up specific areas, say Ohio and Utah, this full body thing is called a coverup too right? [T] yep, [MS] but they really don’t cover anything, a coverup that doesn’t cover up, I’m still confused. [T] not surprising, [MS] and I don’t care what you say, mountain ranges in the west and east aren’t real, [T] now that is true sarg. Case Closed
The story, location, and observations are true, the names were change to deflect any repercussions.